Movie Review of The Hamiltons (2006)

We are back on track. We had some technical issues but that's behind us now.
And its October! My favorite month, so I will be bringing you more movie reviews. Just in case you don't know about who we are, here is our Youtube page. And how did you find us? let us know in the comments section, or somewhere.

Now to the review. I watched The Hamiltons, a horror film about a normal family that has a dark secret. Yes, you guessed it, they kill people. It's a horror film, what you expect? The Hamiltons recently lost their parents and now they have to look out for themselves. The protagonist is Francis, the youngest of 4, who doesn't seem to be like the rest of his siblings. The movie's main plot is about Francis and how he interacts with his family, and how he views what they do. Good movie, had a little bit of everything you would want in a horror film, maybe not a lot of suspense, but in a movie like this you don't need it much.
As I was watching it kept reminding me of another movie, and I couldn't think of what it was, until about halfway through I remembered: I had already seen this! I just forgot. What this means is that this movie is good, but forgettable. There is nothing that will make you remember this movie after about a month, theres no unexpected plot twists, or really innovating shots or anything really. The movie is very safe, they didn't want to go for anything crazy.

Final words, good watch, fun movie if you like horror, just don't expect anything new from it. It is rated R, although I felt it could had easily been PG-13. Back when Blockbuster was a thing, this is the movie you pick up when you have no idea what you want to watch, you just know you want to watch a horror film, its that kind of movie.

Movie Score:

• 6/10
• A (O.W.L.)

A B-Horror Movie Reivew of: Oasis of the Zombies (1982)

Finally an actual horror movie! This week I sat through Oasis of the Zombies, and I'm going to tell you right now: it isn't that great.

The movie is about a group of college kids that go in search of Nazi gold in a oasis, however that oasis is haunted by Zombies: the very same Nazi's that died there transporting the gold. The movie starts out like any other horror movie: with two chicks that have nothing to do with the story and are also kind of slutty. They just happened to be out in the middle of the dessert looking for an oasis, and as they walk around they start to hear strange sounds. Shortly after they are ambushed by zombies, but not before the camera followed them from behind, if you know what I mean. 

Then cut to the actual plot. There is an oasis where Nazis gold is buried, and its worth $6 Million dollars! The Nazi troops where intercepted by other troops and the fight killed everyone except for one soldier, who is the only one that knows where the gold is. This soldier is also the father of our main protagonist, who upon hearing of his father's death (yeah he gets killed by some poison) decides to go in search of this gold.

Overall the movie is really long and boring, there are big chunks where nothing happens and could had been easily cut out. The acting is so terrible! To the point were you wonder if they are even trying. The Zombies also look bad, most look like their face where plastered with paper mache, others just look bad. They also have a problem with light, most scenes are too dark to make sense of anything (although this might be because of the low quality of the film). There are also some night scenes that where obviously shot during the day, you can see the sky and its bright blue! but that just contrast with the rest of the shot, so again you can't see much. The music is also really "off" in a bad way, I felt like all music was in the wrong movie, oh well.

But this movie at least has one thing going for it: people get killed. One specially good death happens when this chick gets eaten by zombies in the first half of the movie. The zombies took the time to rip all of her clothes off before digging into her flesh, and there is one shot of meat being pulled out from her, not that great of a shot, but the gore is appreciated. All the other deaths are boring, mostly due to the poor acting and un-convincing screams. 

Final thoughts on Oasis of the Zombies: Its boring. Its hard to watch, you loose interest quickly, and to be honest the ending is not even remotely worth it. The acting is weak, the cinematography is weak, the zombies are lame, and all this adds up to a mediocre film. I did like that the camels had their own zoom-in head shots, I have no idea why I picked up on that.

Movie Score: 

• 2/10
• T (O.W.L.)

A B-Horror Movie Review of Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988)

I like watching b-horror movies, both for the horrible effects, and the even worse acting! So every Saturday I will watch a b-horror movie on Netflix (go to genres\horror\sub-genres\b-horror), and give you a review on Sunday! You are welcome.

I will also do no background research or get informed about the movie, all I know is the title.

This week I watched "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" and it was unexpected. Although its on the b-horror section, its really just a comedy movie. Another surprise was that George Clooney is in this!

The movie is about a mad scientist that invents a way to make tomato people, and a tomato girl that runs away to save his deformed tomato brother. Anyways I'm not sure if this is actually a sequel to any movie, but it looked like it was. 

The first sequence is pretty funny, and then the title sequence has a song that explains the first movie or something, that was ok. So instantly you know this is just a goofball comedy movie type of thing. They also mention that the movie is low budget, and they break the 4th wall often (one to many times if you ask me). The movie is very tongue-in-cheek, telling you over and over again that they have low budget, and poking fun at it. There a whole scene where they stop the movie to inform everyone that they run out of money... yeah its that kind of movie.

About 3/4 of the way I felt like the movie dragged on, nothing had happened in the plot, and it just came to a very slow pace. It picked up at the end, but then it still dragged on for too long. The plot is not that strong, and the comedy moments are not that great. I never busted out laughing.

I was looking for a bad horror movie (which can sometimes be good), and instead ended up with a bad comedy movie (which are hard to watch). So no, I didn't like this movie. But if you like b-grade comedy movies I would say this is right up you alley.

Movie Score:

• 3/10
• T (O.W.L.)